My Dreams

My Dreams

Why is it that I feel like,

in order to achieve my dreams,

I have to lose it all,

give up everything that I hold dear,

develop some sort of crippling dependency,

disappoint everyone,

wander the Earth for a little while

(at least a decade or two),

nearly die on a few separate occasions,

most likely from drinking too much

or eating too little

or getting too cold,

suffer catastrophic failures,

give up

(more than I already have),

get lost

(more than I already am),

keep going

(even though I won’t want to),

believe in nothing at all,

sell out the beliefs I don’t have,

overcome my fear of death,

prepare myself for death,

and finally, welcome that tender embrace of death?

All of this,

so that I might achieve my dreams...